♥ jiann's talk ♥

"one day i will find the right words, and they will be simple -- jack kerouac" been a month since i first joined this field. one freaking month. blessed enough to have helpful seniors and supporting friends around, of course, always loving family too. to be honest, work was tough, but it was good too. challenging, i'll put it that way. the harder it goes, the stronger i would be. and the satisfaction when you mark the last tick on your to-do list? beyond words description. getting ready for the up-coming peak, and beautiful busy year end. loves.

"it is better to never have it at all than to hold it in your hand and the next second you know they took the whole damn thing away." for the past few years of my life, i taught myself to be easy, to not fight with people, to not ask too much about anything. i let things happen as though they should always been like that, whether to stay, to leave, to do whatever. and so, i never really fight for the one person to stay in my life; i never really fight for that one title; i never really fight for that one dress or the pair of shoes or the seat in a class. i say okay to most of everything. and the rest of it, i normally say nevermind. let things happen. let the flow decides how it goes. but sometimes i get tired of being understanding, of being nice, of being easy. and for once, for now, i want to fight for the one thing that i like. i really want to. if only i may. this time around, i want to stay, to fight for it, than to let the flow drives me away.